Well hello there...

Have you ever felt lost? Not idling-at-the-red-light-looking-around-nervously lost, but lost as in not sure how you got where you are, where you're heading, who's in the passenger seat, and where you got the car?

Welcome to my world. As inane as it must sound, this is the position within which I find myself. In perhaps a predictable fashion, I didn't just wake up one day and find myself here. Instead I've pursued this path plagued by brief moments of lucidity whereby I realize I'm lost but continuing ever further in the same direction anyways.

I am a computer geek by nature, and by chosen career. Unfortunately, I am unemployed, have too much experience (so they say) for entry level work, and too little paperwork for something better. I have, at one extreme, purchased myself a brand new Chevrolet Corvette, and at the other scrounged for change to buy that next pack of cigarettes. Ah, blessed nicotine, what would I do without you?

So I fill my time with online education, pursuing silly paperwork to prove that I know too little to actually do a meaningful job, but just enough to be hired and retrained. ::sigh:: Such a vicious cycle. My credit-hour load varies from 12 to 18, but invariably the classes are not challenging, but instead just another means to pass the time. For that, at least, I'm thankful, though perhaps not thankful enough for it to warrant the attached price. Perhaps reality will morph into a fairy tale, and I'll actually manage to locate gainful employment again at the end of this road. Guess we shall see.

My love life, much like that of my professional life, is no less confused and disorganized. Pursuing only the seemingly meaningful and "deep" relationship, I find myself seldom alone but oft betwixt desires. As the saying goes, "we only hurt the ones we love", and thusly have I left a small wake of destruction behind me. Of course, only those I most felt attached to need apply. The stranger, the casual acquaintance, the meeting of eyes stay fodder only for imagination and fantasy, my wrath falls only upon those with something to lose. To those currently entangled, knowing who you are or not, I sincerely apologize.

My fascinations change as often as the breeze, my tastes as fickle, but my interests as enduring as the very rocks themselves. Now cars, then books, tomorrow music, yesterday nature photography. Occasionally something will truly catch my eye, occasionally my mind, and woe indeed to that which catches my heart. My latest such obsession is a kit car of all things, but not just any kit car... but perhaps what should hereforth be dubbed... THE kit car. More on that later.

So here I sit, not really alone, spoiled but broke, surrounded by the material but unsatiated, questing without moving, looking neither forward nor back but instead somewhere vaguely up and left. What do I see up there? I'm not sure, I knew I should have put on my glasses first.

Until next time, safe journey.